BEFORE ALL YOU SISSIES WERE CREATED
This isn’t retro. It’s a warning label from a tougher time.
Back when seatbelts were optional, cartoons were violent, and we drank from garden hoses — not emotional support water bottles.
No safe spaces. No TikTok trauma. Just real people with real grit.
This shirt is for you if:
You survived without a smartphone… and somehow still made it to work
You ate gluten, played outside, and didn’t need therapy for losing a game
You believe “tough love” > “trigger warnings”
• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico
Disclaimers:
• Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.
• Dark color speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the color Natural.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Size guide
| |
LENGTH (inches) |
WIDTH (inches) |
SLEEVE LENGTH (inches) |
| S |
28 |
18 |
15 ⅝ |
| M |
29 |
20 |
17 |
| L |
30 |
22 |
18 ½ |
| XL |
31 |
24 |
20 |
| 2XL |
32 |
26 |
21 ½ |
| 3XL |
33 |
28 |
22 ¾ |
| 4XL |
34 |
30 |
24 ¼ |
| 5XL |
35 |
32 |
25 ¼ |
| |
LENGTH (cm) |
WIDTH (cm) |
SLEEVE LENGTH (cm) |
| S |
71.1 |
45.7 |
39.7 |
| M |
73.7 |
50.8 |
43.2 |
| L |
76.2 |
55.9 |
47 |
| XL |
78.7 |
61 |
50.8 |
| 2XL |
81.3 |
66 |
54.6 |
| 3XL |
83.8 |
71.1 |
58 |
| 4XL |
86.4 |
76.2 |
61.5 |
| 5XL |
89 |
81.3 |
64.3 |
